quirks

2005-12-08T02:02:00.000+08:00

OH. MY. GOD.

masya allah...

that is the dirtiest lie i've ever heard.

HOW DARE YOU!
HOW DARE YOU IMPUGN ME!

u must be careless of where u came from as to dare lie about things like this.

i just hope nothing of the same behaviour u are giving, happens to your sisters from another person like YOU!

may god guide u because it so seems you have no guidance except for satan's.

2005-12-08T01:11:00.000+08:00

FINE.

maybe u dont like the way i carry myself. maybe u dont like the words i use.
so, im sinful. and that makes me proportionately conceited and disdainful of everybody else?

now i ask
what about YOU?!
you hate me........
so u make sinful plans in ur mind.
then u attack me with ur unkind words.....

now tell me this
........what does that make you?

u think i'll sit around and take this verbal blasfeme?
piss off, dude.

well hey man/woman (freak, u dont even dare to leave ur name), u think ur SO perfect, so in control.

NEWS FLASH:

YOU WOULDNT KNOW AN EMOTION EVEN IF U HAD ONE.

im sure ur life isnt all that fancy and beautiful. maybe if u werent so ignorant and argumentative towards me, good things would happen to u. it's rather "grand" you start leaving comments. why dont u mind ur own bussiness and quit butting into mine?

and if ur trying to instill ur values into me and change me, u should really look in the mirror and try to change urself first, because ur approach is SO wrong.

REFLECT, dammit.

YOU DONT KNOW ME. SO DONT JUDGE ME ON MY PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES.

u can qoute this freaking line...
"TAKE A WHIFF AT URSELF, U RAG".

oh u dont understand that line?... my english is SO POWDERFUL (yes powderful, because i bet u dont even know what powerful is) u got a headache just reading this blog?

too bad.

i highly doubt u've never made one single mistake in your lifetime. im sure u've made grammar and spelling errors at some point in that thing you call a life.

2005-12-05T08:23:00.000+08:00

if mushy posts vex you, DONT READ THIS ONE, because it's as mushy a one as ive EVER left here.

someone told me that the cure to a common heartache is to sleep.

so i've been sleeping, and sleeping, and sleeping, so much that for once, i am truly not sleepy.

ahhh, lovesick.

lovesick? man, i hate that word... it sounds like a simple disease with a simple cure.

for the life of me, i couldnt get him out of my mind, and i couldnt be sure if i wanted to.

sigh.

2005-11-29T14:37:00.000+08:00

i have a VERY uneasy feeling at the moment i... dont know but its killing me..

something is nagging inside that seemed to be telling me...
"mais est ce que tout cela est vrai?" (what if its true)...

i cant explain this thing in the back of my mind, but it's there.

2005-11-26T22:26:00.000+08:00

sighhhhh. ok honestly, i feel like shit. muahah.

anyway, shawn called.

he told me he's missing someone. so much.

i can identify with that.

anyway i just want to say sorry to all who have been dropping birthday wishes and such while im not dropping a word or two in return.
thanks for those kind words. appreciate it.

sighhhhh... being emo is not good, but im bored, and im missing someone so badly, it hurts...

its like.. weighing heavy on my heart... its like.. a weak and dull ache, u know?

ok i'll shut up now before u start barfing. the world is choked with evil people anyway.

i'll post more soon.

2005-11-19T15:51:00.000+08:00

coming this 22nd, i'm FINALLY hitting 17 and as u can see below...

... my father bought me a CAR

...

...

:)

hmmmmm. hah. dream on, girl, dream on.

so anyway, the RC is having some event under my block and my mom has been bugging me to shake hand with the ministers. grr.
im not going of course.

anyway things are positively joygantic. except that some people come and go.

isnt it sad?

friendship.
nurtured over long periods of time to become something very distinct. spent that time with each other, getting to know each other, taking time to learn each other's habits and feelings, all of the things that go along with friendships.

then BWAAMMM. they go.

its like a variable that i cannot count on.

but its ok, really.

if it doesnt matter, it DOES NOT matter.

a car. i want... a... CAR.

2005-11-13T16:18:00.000+08:00

I

HATE

MY

COMPUTING

FAC

BECAUSE

HE

GRADES

ME

UNFAIRLY

jerk.

2005-11-08T01:10:00.000+08:00

i hate people who fake their way around... seriously.

2005-11-04T20:30:00.000+08:00

ok so i need to stop skipping classes. if i want to graduate i have to go everyday from now on.

last last last last week i skipped enterprise cos i was sick. the week after, i missed computing cos i was still sick. two weeks later i skipped cognitive cos i'm still still sick. its like i'm getting all the symptoms of DEATH and t all blows! that was when i decided i really need to see the doc.

the next day i came school for UT's sake. the fever has broken but i still feel like the being on the bottom of someone's dirty foot and i couldnt bring myself to think of isomerism and chiral and all those science shits in between. and my stomach was killing me. so i went home.

and TODAY, when im healthy and wealthy (raya's green packets:), do i go school?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

why?

because YESTERDAY, i ate too much rendang and ketupats and i had on some pretty pointy shoes and i was sooo happy walking in them all day i didnt noticed that my pretty pointy shoes had eaten off chunks of my defenceless flesh.

with a full tummy and blisterous feet, what more could be heavenly than to sleep?

so i sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and overslept.

but its worth it leh...

ok. i'm done. lol.

2005-10-15T22:53:00.000+08:00

i dont really feel like blogging. obvious, i guess.

i'm bored out of my skull. nothing on tv seems even remotely interesting.

....

i want a sony cybershot T7.

but its mahal eh...

but i still want it.

and i suck at saving.

'nuff said.

2005-09-27T17:03:00.000+08:00

like....

"mie went to find mai mummie, after tat miee go out wif mai sweethart. he sho sho sweet. i lurbe him sho much. mai hart ish wif him forevahhh."..

HELLO??? why the hell would ppl wanna spell that way? its NOT cool. its just pathetic. geez.

i dont mind bad grammar but to PURPOSELY twist spellings and adding ur own alphabets is
totally. disgusting.

i hate people who can't spell worth shit...

oh come on, we ALL know they CAN spell but they DON'T want to...

for the love of god, if they think its "sho kiut" to spell that way, they might as well be eaten up by a giant urinal.

it just so... wrong. its like tainted, crude and unpolished. sucks lahhh.

i read a blog and damn, every single word in there got modified. i couldn't make out a single english word as it is known to the rest of the world!

i really am a nice person, but english is not to be fucked with. seriously.

now have a nice day.

2005-09-17T23:07:00.000+08:00

so i decided to play badminton yesterday with william , clive, jolin, jie & siyun. as usual, i'm late.

and the taxi driver was one hell of a driver. he drove me to the wrong stadium and injusticely put words in my mouth.
he said "i thought u said queenstown mrt, so i thought its this stadium"..

hell, i clearly said REDHILL, dammit old man.

but he was nice la. he kept on assuring me that we're near delta. delta stadium, that is.

he seems depressively sorry... and damn, he sped and then at a red light, he'll break to a mile per hour and then speed again to break again. i got insanely sick.. as in nausealy sick in that carsick kind of way but i cant throw up.

and dont worry bout the previous pissed off entry. i'm stable now.. very much at peace and content again i hope.

siyun finally get to touch tudong!... hahah, are u relieved now, baby? didnt get to talk much with jie and mingli though

jolin was cute... she was SO.. hmm.. eager when my phone rang. see, i was smacking shuttlecocks and she's like.. "fiqie! ur phone! ur phone!!.." and when i told her to answer for me.. her eyes grew big like as if its the most surprising thing ever said.

oh she's just so cute i feel like rolling her in a burrito, pouring some hot sauce in it and swallowing her.

have i mentioned that alfie came down too?

yah, and he brought his camera but didnt capture the princess in action.

and omg i nearly stepped on a dead bird on the sidewalk! i didnt even know it was a dead bird until william and clive said it. it doesnt even look like a bird!.. there's no head, no trail of blood... nothing! all i see is a mass of squashed up feathers. the only thing recognisable is its pale yellow feet STICKING UP. yea, and i really mean sticking up, NOT flat down on the ground. i guess it had been decomposing for awhile. then again, how come there's no ants swarming over its carcass?

so anyway, went kfc (omg bird again) with william and clive. ahahahahahahahahahahahhaha...

let me re-enect in my own words.

clive : like rock!
clive : i chew and chew and chew but the thing never come off.

ok those werent his exact words but he said something along those lines and it just sound funny..

anyway, had filming and the first thing dyl said to me was..

"ehh.. mate kau semakin sepet eh.. dah lame aku tak nampak kau"

(translation : ur eyes seems smaller.. its been a long time since i see u)

... thats like the sweetest thing ever. u know, its THIS kind of affections that touches me to the bones. casual remarks, those weird fetishes (like siyun i mean).. its this little things that is memorable.

click here and here to see big

so i've met my friends after... yup.. i've got that warm, belly-like-a-lightening-bug glow now. can't wait for chalet.

sigh. the night is warm. much too warm.
and my every muscle aches. my body's racked with pain.

2005-09-11T00:45:00.000+08:00

i. am. just. so. pissed.

p i s s e d

get it?

2005-09-09T17:54:00.000+08:00

so the doctor said i must watch my diet or im gonna get wayyyyyyyyy wayyyyyyyyy sick.

eat lighter. work out. no oily stuffs. no salt. NO sugar.

hah. well wokay... sugar is evil.

i'll just graze on the friggin' grass patches at the carpark, shall i?

*pout*

anyway, let me introduce to you my darling sweethearts.

this is mikail islam... whom i lovingly call sayang.

and this is luqman ilham... my sweet sugarcub apek

so anyway, i'm SOOOOOO in love with them. they're SO cute, it drives me crazy!

and i was sitting down, and luqman looked at me, trots his way over, leans forward, wrapped his small arms around my legs and snuggled against my lap!... i was quite surprise, actually.. but god, it feels SO nicee and he made me smile.

when me and my mom wanted to leave, they walked us to the door and u know they wanted to follow. they have this..expectant look on their faces...

so my aunt brought them down to walk us to the car.

and check out those shiny boots!

hah, little phua chu kang..

ok, im done ranting about my beautiful boys. its one of the simple pleasures i have.
just watching them play, capturing the sheer joy in their faces... it brings a warm glow.

*sighh*... i love kids.

anyway, my grandmama gave me this yellow leftover thing... i dont know what it is but it sure tastes yummehhhh...

look at those mushrooms! nutty, nubby, oval shapped, dark like tree bark, and ohhhhhh so delightful.....

randomosity

2005-09-04T03:49:00.000+08:00

i guess it made the shadows of pain appear back in my life.

there's no love that didnt hurt in some way.

there's no pleasure that didnt have its punishment.

everything that comes along with it... its just... scary.

seeekkk

2005-09-04T02:32:00.000+08:00

im like supposed to sleep now but panadol cold doesnt seem to have those DROWSY features hehe.

yea, i've got THE bug. THE FLU BUG.

*sniff*

uhuh, *nodds*

i thought its like a 24 hour bug or something but damn... those little irks decided to launch another attack on me.

everyone seems to have it. i mean, first alfie had it, then mai & dyl caught it, then rain, then it's my turn. gawdddddddd, who's next? ahhhhhh.. it hurts.

u know what. lemsip sucks. its just like... another hot drink with paracetamol powder in it, so you might as well make a decent drink and have a pill. besides, it smells like low grade disinfectant too.

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... i hate being 'bugged! and i'm hating flickr. those stupid red x! extremely irritating, i knowwwww. i'll fix it somehow.

man, i better sleep now.

i'll blog again, i promise la...
with pictures and what not.

total mess..

2005-08-20T17:39:00.000+08:00

mood :
Wires - Athlete

not too bad? well u havent seen the other side of the room! conozco este problema, no puedes decir que mi habitacion es caotica porque es mucho mas que esosigh. sighhhhhh...

my room is in a mess now, books, clothes, towels, tissues, newspapers, magazines.. EVERYTHING is strewn all over the place. my bed is more of a junk pile than a place to lie on. its a miracle how i ever managed to find space to sleep at night.

anyway, im glad that i hooked ham up last night.i dont wanna live past 2005 not speaking to my best girlfriend...

and did anyone realised its wan's birthday today??? ahahaahh... i received that birthdayalarm email..

"Dear Shafiqah,

It's Wan's birthday on Saturday August 20th. Wan will be 32 years old.

Choose any eCard below and we will send it on Wan's birthday..."

hah, ecard? pffft.

my team was SO pissed at him yesterday. SO pissed. he made us the evaluating team but he didnt even give us time to come up with an evaluation sheet and the criterias. i was pissed la.. of cos la.. rain was like "i made this u know *jabs finger at screen*.."

the problem statement is also probably one of the suckiest ever. some "snow cruiser" crap. the worst thing is, he kept on saying that he'll downgrade us if we didnt do it properly.

i asked him why we couldnt present and he's said "due to some reasons"...

i hate vague responses like that.
i dare u to look me dead in the eye and tell me that, bigboy.

what does that mean? i dont think he even knew.

oh NEVERMIND. he's being his normal self LAH. esoteric. ambiguous. unfathomable. cryptic.

anyway, rain and kris were having some intimacy right beneath my nose!

kris was so damn shy when it comes to camera... but he's cute la.. he bought breakfast and i told him to feed rain and he seriously asked rain if he wanted some. SO gullible! very amusing. too bad eh, rain. tsk tsk.

ok, couple time.

#1 golden lovebirds of all time.

#2 golden lovebirds of all time.

#3 golden lovebirds...

apparently, throughout all these months, there aint a single picture of them!!!!! i knowwww.. atrocious eh?..

but fret not, my child. the groom is right there... i'm just sticking my bum right where hal should be.

and here we are! the PARTI PAS of PD0116.

there's like still a lot of pictures but i'm too shagged to upload them... i'll see how.

and jie.. i lost our picture!!!!!!

hmm, my room is STILL in a mess.
who wants to clean it? i wont pay, but i'll do you a great favour.

seriously, all i wanna do is to just lie down somewhere and watch the clouds.

and wan... have a spankin 32nd birthday lah.

its love, baby

2005-08-12T19:17:00.000+08:00

mood :
Goodnight, Goodnight - Hot Hot Heat

today was my first time having an argument with a taxi driver. i only ride comfort cabs but i was SO late to school and the only cab i ever saw was a yellowtop.

anyway, the driver insisted on dropping me OUTSIDE the campus cos he needed to PEE. and he didnt even say the word 'pee'. he was like "miss, i really need to SSSSSHHHHH..." i told him he could use the campus's loo but he insist on going to the petrol kiosk "nearby". we argued and argued and argued. then i saw his legs JIGGLING and boy.. when people jiggle their legs, it bugs me. especially when it concerns the bladder.

i relent and sat back and fumed. he didnt even drop me off at the gate! he drove all the way to the kiosk which is FAR, uhuh, way far from my class.

but i guess i kinda forgave him when he said "becareful when u cross the road". at least he have the decency to look sorry. but ok la... i told myself i was being ridiculous, it was just a stupid taxi driver that i will never see again, there is no reason to allow him to rile me up

anyway i had a little tiff with maya yesterday but its all cool and we still love each other. i saw her from far in the canteen today and she was heading my way with this HUGE HUGE smile. and the next thing i knew, we hugged. yes, we HUGGED right there and then in the middle of ppl stuffing their faces with food.

see, the thing is, maya and me... we don't really hug. we hug other ppl except ourselves and yes, that's the first time i was really really closed to her. when our bodies felt together, my eyes were blurred.
it's like im losing a best friend. sighhhh, those kind of feelings, i've never felt for so long.

then i bumped into skin at the plaza. bob was there too. she just grabbed me in a bear hug and bob goes, "we all need to crush you in a big hug". but bob didnt, of course. heh, he knows :)

i feel so weird. its like.. i realised i miss my friends maybe now for the first time in a BIG way. not in a tear jerking sobbing wretched way, just in a "it would be really nice to be with u today" kind of way.

ahhhh, stupid mixed up emotions

anyway, i LOVE my team today!!!! we combined team and i had *cough* hubs *cough* and babysiyun and captain and dyl all working together! dyl was in a laughing fit, whats with her "cuba try test ah"... and its seems to be decades since i last word with siyun.
and get this, ppl.
hubs sat beside me nearly the WHOLE day unromantic u all say? hah, bite that, mai. bu yao chi chu wor? even kaklong had her hubs beside her.

babysiyun and thomas wore green today seh..

coincidental? telepathic? i'd say, LUUUUURRRRRVVVEEEEEEE

father's big day

2005-08-10T02:51:00.000+08:00

mood :
No One There - Sentenced

yesterday's my old man's birthday, i'm not sure what number. 42, probably. heheh, i said the same thing last year and the year before.

something special about us is that, my temperaments and his are pretty much confined in the gene pool to just him and me.

i didnt get anything for my dad.. nope, no card to send, no present to give.. we're past that stage, kids.
nothing, just all my love as long as i live

the whole family feasted at swensen and we sat at the exact same spot as we did last year. i had a really fun time but i'm too shagged to write on.

anyway my dad doesnt read my blog which makes it all easier for me. here's a short post for u, dad.

i wish i could go back and say thank u for all the times i never realized i should. im blessed with a wonderful man as my father, who chose a wonderful woman as my mother.
just wanna say thank u for investing your time and love in my life.
may god bless you and shine his light upon you and give you peace.
AND 42 IS NOT SO BAD.

i love u, my old man. rock on. YOU DA MAN!

on the sidenote, i've added a tagboard. it's over there ®

go. say a quick hello, talk about the weather, whatever. spam me. spam me. spam meeeee.

eh

2005-08-09T04:34:00.000+08:00

ahhhh the holiday disorder has kicked in. my sleeping schedule is now royally screwed. its a little after 4 and i've been up since the day before yesterday cos yesterday my bro decided to invade my room and have a little sleepover IN MY ROOM and i cant sleep because he kept checking on me each time i close my eyes, i was SO bothered i decided to go online and then there's the whole malaysia trip and NOW, i'm bored shitless because i cant sleep, i dont know why. im yawning all over, but
I JUST CANT SLEEP

maybe because i havent tried.

singapore's turning 40, so to speak.... pffft.

sighhhhh. someone please.

i need a camera to my eye

2005-08-06T03:57:00.000+08:00

mood :
Addicted - Kelly Clarkson

omg i'm SOOO addicted to kelly clarkson's addicted. i've been hearing this song blaring out from thomas's laptop like BUTTLOADS. the lyrics is just as strong as her vocals and i'm just downright hardcorely SO in love, baby

anyway, speaking of addictions... i didnt realise id use the camera so much, but i'm always taking snaps of things. I NEED A CAMERA la... i mean i'm thankful for my 6230 but id like the camera to take better quality photos, but most of the time it's good enough to get an idea of what things look like, so its still ok. BUT a NIKON COOLPIX S2 will be great.

damn, i love taking pictures of the sky! especially when the sun is about down because thats when there are all these different colors.

and my favourite.. big fluffy clouds and blue, blue sky.

sometimes i wish for a built-in, voice activated camera in my eyes... then i'll just scream*TAKE IT!* and wham, all done.

maybe i could be invisible. then i could go around taking photos without anyone going "what the hell is she taking a photo of over there?" or "whats so interesting about that gay thing?" or "what sia... that girl is bugging me by taking so many damn photos" tadada tadada tadada
*mkk impersonation* ahahahahah ...

anyway, me and maya had our first ride to school in a mercedes cab.

its SO worth it. the driver got out of his seat just to greet us and the seat was SO comfy, our bums were sinking in, and he was tuning in to the symphony radio which beats all those crappy morning talk shows and the best thing is, he SPEEDS!

we had a firedrill exercise today and it reminds me of my secondary school days. but frankly, if there really IS a fire, everyone would probably be dead. dont ask me why. its just retarded....

but it was a great. we took pictures and joke around and leng mo keat was soooo... everyone loves him.

and krishna was nagging sia.. he was like "oi fiqie.. stop smiling la.. this is a serious scenario u know".

and lets just forget yesterday, ppl. DYL, RAIN, MAI, thanks so much darlings.

hah, the day was horrible but we bought brownies from the brownie factory and everything's perfezionare :)

look at mai!

and look at mai!

heh she's SO cute, everyone loves her seh.

mai and me are like.. camera whores. like shucks. we use the camera almost every day and in the absence of mirrors, we take handfuls of photos of ourselves like the vain creatures that we are.

anyway, we had enterprise yesterday and as usual, me, siyun and mai took multiple snapshots of ourselves... shameless women, i know. but for the sake of ur eyes, i wont post anymore pictures. see how meek we can be?

dammit la.. i need more bandwith.

I'M TOO PISSED TO THINK OF A GOOD TITLE

2005-08-03T20:40:00.000+08:00

mood :
Everything Burns - Ben Moody ft Anastacia

i'm so mf pissed...

i think i'm too kind too la... but what can i do? be a bad girl? no, im never gonna do that and i'm never gonna let me do that. but sometimes it really upset me, like today. i......

f, im just going to let it go. go away, EVIL ...

and i broke a glass

and guess what? hah, i got to know an asshole, a total shitbag. i'm just so disgusted that i actually felt something towards that scum. he'll date losers, and dope heads, whack jobs, etc. he's going to be SO sorry.

ni yi wei ni hen shuai hen mi ren dan shi shi shang ni jiu xiang la ji

freaking CHEE HONG.

thank gawd i've got good guts. big hearts are for suckers. blablablablabla! who gives a sh*t.... im very mean and angry. im a monster!!

GRRRR, RRAHH!! doo doo wee wee..

but you guys dont want to hear me complain anymore right? right... thats what i thought...

it rains

2005-07-30T13:42:00.000+08:00

mood :
Bila Kau Tak Disampingku - Sheila on 7

its raining and boy, i feel good. i love it when it rains. nothing gets me going like a good storm. gloomy days are as beautiful as sunny ones.

anyway, sorry for not blogging. if u'd stalked me for the past weeks, u'll know why. i've had an endoscopy, and they've been running loads of tests on me. eversince then, i've been sick with nausea and fever and a system full of mucus.

all these have really curved my appetite which is a good thing cos i'm trying to shrink my bum .

other than that, things has been alright. computing is still as sucky as ever, science was easier but the UT stank big time. i've been working with thomas alot.

haha... asshole. i was browsing through my phone when i saw this.

anyway, i really have to thank god for helping me out in some stuffs. see, i've been in some kind of a turmoil and... its just the battle of the brain and guts. i'm sure u all have had it before.

i mean.. have you ever had a "gut feeling" about something that's later turned out to be true?

i've been praying real hard and thank god i got my mind cleared up. see? god's always there for u.

skin texted me this morning...

"babygirl, i rather follow my gut feeling. well in my opinion gut feelings are
often triggered by the heart and u should always, always follow ur heart. its
the heart that tells u what u really want and need... so go, go for the guts. i
love u babes."

i love her.

and NEVER ask me what my turmoil is, alright? i'll never tell, so don't bother.

enterprise was a bore so me and siyun were fooling with our handphones and we decided to snap pictures. alfie saw us and was undoubtly jealous of all the fun i'm having.

jealousy hurts

and in case u havent noticed, i've added a flickr badge on the navigations. flickr sucks. u can't do much with 20MB of bandwith per month and only 3 photosets. boo.

faded & unbroken

2005-07-10T09:40:00.000+08:00

mood :
Here In My Heart - Plus One

wish i could be the one. the one who could give u love. the kind of love u really need. wish i could say to u that i'll always stay with u. but baby that's not me. u need someone willing to give their heart and soul to u. promise u forever, baby that's something i cant do. i could say that i'll be all u need. but that would be a lie. i know i'd only hurt u. i know i'd only make u cry. im not the one ur needing.

i hope someday u can find some way to understand im only doing this for you. i dont really wanna go. but deep in my heart i know this is the kindest thing to do. u'll find someone who'll be the one that i could never be. who'll give u something better than the love u find with me. i could say that i'll be all you need but that would be a crime. i know i'd only hurt u. i know i'd only make u cry. i'm not the one ur needing.

it tears me up inside but i'll never be the one ur needing. its never gonna work out.

i felt such a play of emotion coming from this song...

2005-07-08T00:30:00.000+08:00

apparently i had a terrible cramp in my calf muscles (aka 'charlie horse') 2 nights ago and my leg is still sore today. i guess i have to do some calf stretches before going to bed but anywayss...

im getting so high up emotional cos..... gawwshh i miss my bestfriend, peah, like crazy... i really really need to talk to her and i need a bestfriend hug too.

i get so upset and... its that kind of thing where you know the feeling of your heart caving in the feeling.

today was the first time i havent felt this way in over a week.

really, i miss her soooo damn much, it hurts, it drains, and most of all it festers the fear of losing her.

HIRE ME

2005-07-03T09:57:00.000+08:00

if u dont know what ur doing then YOU need a tutor!

even if u DO know what ur doing, a tutor is still a VERY good idea.

also, DO u need a babysitter every now and then ? ...

YOU NEED A SITTER / TUTOR

YOU SEARCH FOR ONE

YOU FOUND HERE

YOU HIRE HERE!

the connection agencies turn is OVER.

its a win-win strategy!

SO if u need ANY help, call me @ (+65)

81230364.

ps: tution applies for kids below 14, and babysitting for ALL AGES. anytime weekends. weekdays anytime from 6pm to 10 pm. flexible hourly rate.

jm left a message on my phone last friday....

2005-06-27T01:22:00.000+08:00

mood :
Mimpi Yang Sempurna - PeterPan

jm left a message on my phone last friday. his dad passed away.

i called him but i really didnt know what to say and i hated not knowing what to say, cos i know that whenever it comes to going through anything, the best people to talk to, seems to be the ones who've been through it.

ive never been there before to know that kind of suffering.
i THINK i know and understand, but i dont. i mean, i lost my grandfather but i guess its not the same.

the rest of our conversation was the usual. as always, he was full of concern for me, asked me about school and life and wanted to know when we're meeting up.

i havent heard anything from him since and im just too chicken to call again. shit. i feel rotten.

sigh

i had a long talk with shawn on the phone just now and basically spilled my shit ridden guts to him. i told him bout thursday and he cant understand how i or rather, w.e lost it. and he continuously pooped out questions that i cant possibly answer. idiot.

he kept on bugging me to tell my parents and i know i need to tell my parents but i dont know how to and.....

i hadnt realised how much was on my emotional plate until NOW.

*breathe*

alright. nvm. i believe that everything happens for a reason. i may not see the reason, but its there. god knows best. i still have faith that all things will work to the best.

but i just hope that the rest sees this too cos really, i cant stand negativity.

ya ayyuhal lazina amanusbiru wa sabiru wara bithu wattaqullaha la a'llakum tuflihun.

peeved

2005-06-23T09:18:00.000+08:00

mood :
Mimpi Yang Sempurna - PeterPan

filming. filming. filming. there, i summarized my last 10 days in 1 line...

sighh. it havent been exactly smooth-sailing.

i'm just soo tired and i havent had the heart to dig into it and blog about it.

of course i havent been on a computer(ooooh big lie), phone, nor have i meet up with any friends these holidays.

to fad, qayyim, arynn, syak, hamz, mya, syimah & shafik...

IM SORRY

yes yes, i know i promised and i kept on pushing our dates only to cancel them. im sorry, ppl... soon. soon, this will be all over.

and SHAWN, u tooty one helluva bumass, call me dammit.

lalalala

2005-06-13T12:35:00.000+08:00

mood :
Sing - Travis

ok, last night was weird. my moods shifted so quickly and suddenly that i feel like..... like something that shifted moods quickly and suddenly. *roll eyes*

my emotions were at extreme ends. yes, im VERY pissed with that fac, i still am. but when i saw my father coming home through the door, i was sooo.... happy. yea... happy.

and I was remarkably astoundingly amazingly intoxicatedly overjoyed that my father bought me a whole box of indocofee. see, he just came back from bintan and i didnt expect him to get me anything cos i told him not to. he said he didnt know what to buy but he figured that i might need it since i'm always staying up late. i was SO touched, i felt like crying!

he nudged me to try it and i did and boy, it was BITTER. lol.

so we talked fo a while... he regaled me with all the happenings in bintan. see, my aunt's a teacher and she's forever bringing her scouts boys to places. this holiday, she brought them to bintan and she wanted them to do something like fishing but i guess she know nuts about it, and brought along my darling father. my father's a real pro at fishing, i tell u.

anyway, im impressed that ppl actually ignored my status and personal msg in msn. i'm sure i sound pissed enough to scare the whole nation. i didnt get any msgs for over 2 hours and i thought "good, these kids are behaving"...

but later, alfie and siyunn and shawn dare to chat me up.
i was AWEd that they took the risk of getting cussed at. i'll get downright hardcore nasty when i'm pissed.

oh... maybe they're unconscious of that. its ok, i'm still impressed, darlings.

btw, i added a photoalbum on the navigations. go have a peek at those bonkers i work with everyday. *winks*

PISSED

2005-06-12T20:00:00.000+08:00

mood :
Smile Like You Mean It - The Killers

i am freaking PISSED. i dont give 2 shits if i come off as a whiny biatch, all i wanna say is...

ITS NOT FAIR!

i've gotten another C for communication and his individual comment really bugs me. here's the educational riddle.

"You should contribute more voluntarily in class."

*gasp*

DONT YOU FREAKING DARE QUESTION MY SILENCE!!!

i'm no christian but have a look at the bibble, ppl.

Tim. 2:11-14 says,
"let a woman LEARN IN SILENCE with all submission."

sighhh... i just dont understand. i'm behaving like i always do in other modules.
so how come he's the only one EVER to give me such comments?
how come i can ace in other modules while he's forever giving me such grades?

im beginning to hate him. i know this sound cheesy but my feelings are really hurt.

no, i AM NOT OBSESSED WITH GRADES.
its just disappointing. its like a nice fat zero for my efforts.

oh. i forgot. he has his own "policy" and i guess i'm just not good enough huh.

fine. applying his own standard, i'll give him a nice, fat, chunky, fertile, ZERO for his interesting juxtapositions of communications and cheesy concepts.
.idiot.

SKIN, READ THIS!

2005-06-08T23:32:00.000+08:00

mood :
Wo Men De Ai - F.I.R

SKIN baby, i dont know how to reach u and i doubt u check ur mail everyday.

listen up darling, i need ur current blog template.. every single bit of it. mail me the template when u read this pls?

also, sleepover adjourned to next TWO weeks instead of next's.

mail me. mail me. mail meeeeee.

freak sheettt

2005-06-07T20:04:00.000+08:00

mood :
My Boo - Usher feat Alicia Keys

things has been weird.
2 days ago, i slipped in the bathroom. my right leg kinda gave way and i was telling my left leg to hold it but apparently that one leg couldnt hold my weight.

i reached for the sink to break my fall but my fingers just wouldnt grip. i screamed and landed on my right hip.

i was moaning... trying to desperately figure out just what the hell happened.

my mom, who was up until that point cooking, came rushing into the bathroom to "save" her damsel in distress... NOT!

she screamed when she saw my body sprawling on the bathroom floor and i screamed back DUH! i was SHOCKED ok? i thought she saw a bone jutting out somewhere.

see, my mom had a fall at that exact spot a few years ago and she broke her right arm.

so she pulled me up and i sat there, still on that freaking floor, crying. i dont know why i cried. it mustve been the shock cos i didnt feel any pain just yet.

so anyway, i got a big bruise on my right hip and another bruise on my right leg.

and TODAY *sigh*...

today was yet another shocking day. i was vacuuming my parents' room and i dont know how it happened but it happened.

the TV fell with the screen facing the floor.

i stared at the floor in disbelief for a very very very very long long long time... the whole thing was lying broken on the floor... shards of glass scattered about. then i heard the electricity sparking around.... at least i still have the brains to unplugged the set... though my heart was still in my throat.

also, all i wanted to do was to pour soup down into this huge bowl... and surprise, surprise, i squirt it all over the kitchen floor, can u believe it??? sighhhh.

and maya just texted me... let me just show u her exact words.

"i went shopping again! bought TWO belts, one at hula&co. another at 77th street. then i got a handbag at far east! weeee..."

and i thought she told me she's broke?!!!.... how nice. *pouts*

u tell me

2005-06-07T01:10:00.000+08:00

mood :
-none-

i have a problem that i cant explain...
i lack the reason why i should be so confused...

but i AM confused... i cant help it...

shucks...

window shopping? like, helloooo??

2005-05-30T21:34:00.000+08:00

mood :
Untitled - Simple Plan

i went shopping with mya after school. initially i was dying to go straight home, i just didnt feel like schooling today. probably because its computing day again... computing makes me feel rotten u know. sometimes i feel like im not doing enough since im really just pushing the basics.

surprisingly though, my team finished the whole problem solving by 11.30!! i know! *giggles*

i have to thank thomas. it was a total relieve. we were grinning uncontrollably with that exhilarated twinkle in our eyes and we slapped hi 5 and the whole thing was like an involuntary reaction... pure happiness, that one.

anyway, i was browsing through the shops in paragon and gawshh... my heart swell with soreness with every stuff that i touched. i mean.. really, if someone wants to go out and just look around when im broke, i put on my pouty face and stay right where i am...
but since i initiated this trip, i couldnt possibly pout all day. gawssh woman.

and i SOooooOOOoooo was torn between this top and black cardigan. both from Dorothy Perkins, but its a yellow top and yellow makes me look like an eggtart!

so i bought the cardigan which is one size BIGGER, and costs 7 bucks MORE.
then i saw this pretty Benetton top and u wouldnt believe the price... *shakes head* its surprisingly reasonable... *shakes head*

mya bought this flare skirt... its like BRIGHT orange with stripes and i was SO against her buying it cos she'll look like a total clown. but when she tried it on... WOW, its like she has been sweetly redressed and she looks like a princess.

anyway, enough girl talk.
i'm just high on shopping. i need to cure this madness.

and i called shawn just now cause he was so fidgety and freaking out on me last night. he had his chinese olevels and he's like... "shit. sister, i'm screwed"... lol... such cuteness.

and shafik's gonna come down to rp tomorrow!... we havent seen each other for about a month now and its just terrible...
ahhh... good times, good times...

alhamdulillah.

qayy... ur not forgotten either :)

and pottymouth alfie, dyl!... rain darlin... wang wei... WANG WEI awww...

im high baby!

2005-05-29T18:09:00.000+08:00

mood :
The Ghost Of You - My Chemical Romance

oooohhhhhhh shopping was a blast!... my mom and i, we found some GREAT deals... there's just sooo many to see, grab and buy!

i tried on 1000 things but only ended up with 3 tops.
THEN, i saw a BEAUTIFUL top. it was like the top was waiting for me. i knew instantly when i saw it. kinda funny how that happens *giggles*

and yea, i guess i kinda burn a whole in my mom's purse. i know, i know... this aint good. im wasting money i dont earn...i feel guilty...ashamed.. REMORSE, even. but i i paid for my jeans, and i bought her a milkshake, and i paid for her train fare cos i figured that its a waste of petrol if i let her drive, when the train is so near.. so, i guess... im not THAT bad *grins*

and what can i say? im an impulsive buyer and i have to get what i want. most of the time anyway.

and since it's my therapy, i feel like i have an excuse for being a shopaholic... when i get new stuffs, i just feel so happy... like what chocolates and cheesecakes do for depressed people. yea, those food makes me happy but SHOPPING makes me HIGH!! u can throw me in a mall anytime and i assure u, at the end of the day, i will have a big smile on my face.

oh well..shopping is my game..

yup, i feel better already and i kinda needed it. i've been thinking a lot about a lot of things that i really dont understand and im not really sure if im ready for it.

right now i am thinking of getting a facial... maybe hot oil.. haha...anything to make me beautiful.. hahahaha. geeshhh...

anyway, my darlin sugarplum Arynn made me this

... i love u baby *licks* buttloads of kisses specially for u.

freak off!!!

2005-05-28T13:21:00.000+08:00

mood :
Slow Down - Bobby Valentino

he wont stop texting me! he just wouldnt!

everday, i get a text message and even if i dont reply, i get another one... and another one... and another one dammit!

*bangs head on desk*

u fool. i told u i dont feel the same way about u so would u please let me be??!!

sighhhhhhh.

who did this?!!!

2005-05-27T19:53:00.000+08:00

mood :
Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day

at one point, i suspected that he had a crush on me cos he's FOREVER texting me, then finally he told me he a crush on me since, get this, PRIMARY 6... righttttttt...

thats like... FIVE years of total absence.
then i asked him if he was seeing someone over the years, he said yes.
see how FAKE he is???
and he's SO paranoid!....
i am SICK of this. and he really pissed me off when he starts talking about standards. i mean, WHAT standards???

my feelings for him is NOWHERE near his for me. and i hate it how he treats me like i'm his girlfriend!!! *screams*

mellowwwwwww

2005-05-25T21:36:00.000+08:00

mood :
Dont Tell Me - Avril Lavigne

i had a pretty nice day... very mellow but nice. UT sucks... i mean, it seems like everyone thinks that its the easiest programming language ever. but i just dont get it. vb is ultra frustrating and confusing and very UN-NICE.

sigh.
i hate VB. i dont understand how it works. i really wish that i did, but i dont. i'm at the risk of looking stupid. and im a computing student for gawd's sake. i'm SO gonna have to start reading tutorials on the blasted language. pathetic really.

anyway, i had fun at the girl's toilet with jolin and mai... its a long story. something involving iodine & calamine & loads of gauze & bandage. here's a snapshot. go figure.

my wholesome sugarpie babies...

2005-05-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

mood :
Untitled - Simple Plan

u know ur lifelessly bored when u blog THREE times in one day... well at least i know i'm passionate about bloggin *grins*
unlike my previousblog where i just... go. i dont wanna... i was SO un-enthu, i just didnt care... so eventually and predictably(duh) i left it to dust and crumble.

mmmmmm.. come to think of it, its not entirely my fault. see, i was conscious that my previous blog was more like a social thing. not a place for intimate thoughts. i see my blog being linked in my schoolmates' blog and it just unnerved me to know that ppl i see everyday, ppl that i dont open up to, are actually reading up on my life. i became self-conscious and uptight... and frankly, it kills me to see ppl blogging for other's sake. yea i have a 'friend' who does that though he full flat deny it. oh whatever.

so anyway... i LOVE my babies!!!...they're like pure cuteness!

skin, sweetheart gave me
and

and

and a snapshot of our conversation

ifah baby gave me
and

and she totally touched me with this!

i miss them so damn much and i cant wait for my term break!... arghhh THREE weeks seems forever.

slosh ugghhh

2005-05-23T14:02:00.000+08:00

mood :
Mungkin Nanti - PeterPan

i mopped the entire floor before i felt too tired to do it and now... i'm just plain sleepy. actually i didnt really mopped... i simply sloshed water all over and when the fun ends, i was gobsmacked at how WET everything was.
thank god my parents weren't in.

sigh.
i had all these things i wanted to write about but when i got started, i kinda didnt want to write about them anymore.

i wanna crawl into bed and snuggle up to my pillows and pass out.

oooh i just realized that my baby skin is online!... awww i miss her soooo much. i gtg hooked her up.

schoooool rawks baby!

2005-05-23T09:39:00.000+08:00

mood :
Holiday - Green Day

LOADS has been going on eversince i stopped blogging....
but SCHOOL has been fun fun FUN!!! i love my classmates...really, they are like the sweeeeetest bunch :)

and there's qayy! my ultra sweet sophomore.
he's a freakin good guy and i'm blessed to have crossed paths.

smackeroooos for PD0116!